Helping Friends
Perhaps you know someone who has experienced abuse or violence. Maybe you are experiencing abuse. You are not alone. There are those times when friends come to us and ask us for help. Let them know that help is available.
First steps to help a friend:
- The most important thing you can do is listen to your friend. Make sure to talk in a safe zone where your friend will not be put in danger.
- Do not judge your friend.
- Be considerate of your friend’s feelings.
- Do not rush your friend to make any immediate decisions.
- Do not blame your friend by telling him/her it was their fault. Remind them that they are not at fault for someone else hurting them.
- If your friend is in real danger move quickly to get him/her help.
Five things to say to a friend who is being abused:
- I am afraid for your safety and/or your life
- I am afraid for your future
- It may get worse
- You deserve better
- I will be there for you if you ever need me
What should I do if someone is hurting my friend?
- Encourage your friend to look for help.
- You can contact the police or 911 if there is immediate danger.
- Help is available at Center for Women in Transition.
If your friend isn’t ready to listen or does not want to get out of the relationship then you could let him/her know that…
- The abuse will not just stop or go away
- You can not change your partner’s behavior by changing the way you act
- You are not in any way responsible for the abuse
- The abuser may need help or counseling to change
- You may need support so that they can begin to heal the physical and mental wounds
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